This story is about a parent that discusses her biggest challenge...the 1 reason why she feels she has not been able to find peace as a new parent (drum roll please) - accepting where she is today. Listen to her journey...
My journey has been about trying to live in the moment. I am constantly trying to keep alive to what is happening. I have an experience, get stuck in it, wonder why I’m stuck, try to step out of it, see it for what it is, let it go, and try to take another step. Life keeps changing and bringing new challenges all the time, and I have to work hard at embracing that change. One thing that I have learned is I’m not ready for any of it, so I have to keep on keeping on and doing my best.
Acceptance. Accepting things has been challenging. Whether it’s accepting where I am in life now (staying at home with my daughter), accepting what I have temporarily lost (my career, my traveling), or accepting who I am (a type A personality who finds it hard to slow down). Just being able to be happy with what I have, where I am, and who I am is a challenge for me.
How She Overcame this Challenge
I reflect and meditate a lot. I fall back on authors and idols who have guided me in my past. I seek out goodness from new people and new experiences. I try to give and not worry about getting. I try not to worry. And just let things be. I take the time to be present, even if that means just enjoying the sound of the leaves blowing in the wind, or the joy my daughter gets from one of her favourite books, or the way my husband looks at me when I’m not really paying attention. I just try to enjoy the moment, even if it’s just a few minutes of smiles and good times at Home Depot on the weekend. I try to live my favourite quote from Ghandi “Be the change you want to see in the world”, and actually own it, not just pay lip service to it. I try to slow down and go with the flow, try to avoid forcing situations. I try to give up control to a certain degree. And I reflect often, give credit where due, and talk to my husband about my feelings when I fail. I try to spend time with him and embrace the man I fell in love with so many years ago. I try to find peace in my life, and avoid war when I can. I keep trying, even when it’s hard.
Quote That Has Helped You
I know it’s cliche, but one quote that comes to mind right away is from the poem “Cleaning and Scrubbing” by Ruth Hulbert Hamilton: Cleaning and scrubbing can wait till tomorrow... For babies grow up, we've learned to our sorrow... So quiet down cobwebs... dust go to sleep... I'm rocking my baby and babies don't keep! I guess it just keeps everything in perspective for me about what I’m doing at this moment, that time is relative. It helps me take a breath, and be present in this moment. Maybe I’m not rocking my baby, but it still reminds me that this moment will pass, so I should enjoy it.
Tip/Resource That Has Helped You
Public library and internet. I read alot, probably too much! Lol. And my husband, since we’re in this together. I rely on him a lot for friendship, support, and guidance. Sometimes I forget to respect what a critical role he plays with keeping my family happy and whole. And my extended family and friends too. All who give advice that I pick and choose from.
TR Key Take Aways
What I've noticed as a new mom is that it's very easy for others to tell you to try and relax, as they are mentioning these intentionally helpful words - the laundry list of things you need to do/want to do is running through your head...you realize that they can not all get done tonight...you ask your husband to maybe try and finish a reno in the evening but he's tired cause he's worked all day...you're frustrated because you also feel like you worked all day but need the motivation to do more to feel productive...you get angry...you wonder why you're angry...peace is now broken.
Anyone with me?
The BEST thing that I have found that is helpful when you A - don't have alot of time and B - need to remain calm is 1) to BREATHEEEEE and 2) to Slow Down.
I talk about these two FREE tips so many times because they work. We need to breathe deepy, this increases the supply of oxygen to our brains and stimulates the parasympathetic nervous system which, in turn, promotes a state of calmness.
Slowing down is key. a couple extra minutes a day because you're walking to the bedroom to find your kid's show is better than running, getting nervous, getting anxious and potentially stressed out cause you feel RUSHED. How you start the day is everything and if you can slow down and breathe it goes a long way.
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